There is one issue that has always made me feel particularly sad.
It's that in the process of making friends with the opposite sex, if the other person happens to be very nice to me, I don't know how to react to it, and this feeling makes me feel very sad, even so sad that I can't eat, and I don't understand why it's like this, it's as if I've lost my self, and I've put all of my attention on the other person, and this kind of emotional burden is too much for me to bear.
Hello, sir.
When getting along with the opposite sex, if you just unilaterally pay, good to each other, you may feel more open, no sense of indebtedness. But once the other party is also good to you, you are prone to become overwhelmed, panicked, feel unable to return, that they do not deserve to get this kind of goodwill, filled with a deep sense of indebtedness.
Do you feel similarly?
Whether you're dating someone of the same or opposite sex, human interaction is often based on giving to each other, building long-lasting relationships through the goodwill that comes from you and me. In a healthy relationship, neither party will take the other's giving for granted, but will openly accept and respond to it, supporting each other and growing together, creating a balance that nourishes each other.
You seem to have a hard time "accepting" kindness from others. This may be because you didn't get enough love from your parents or other important caregivers growing up, and haven't experienced the feeling of being treated genuinely. You may not believe that anyone can be nice to you for no reason, and subconsciously feel that you don't deserve to be loved, so you tend to give unilaterally in relationships, trying to make up for your lack of self-worth in this way, and to regain your balance.
If this description fits your situation, it is recommended that you find some books or audio courses on family of origin to learn how a sense of worth and lack of security develops and the roots of this mentality. Figure out why you have these emotions in the first place and then slowly look for ways to build your self-worth.
Regardless of what you've been through in the past, believe that everyone is inherently worthy of being loved, not just depending on how much you give, but because you are uniquely valuable and attractive in your own right. People treat you well not just because of what you give, but because you are attractive as a person in your own right.
I hope you learn to love yourself and meet the right person to love you.