Feeling like everything is so hard Coping with the stress of relationships and school and the daily repression of not wanting to communicate

故事资讯 7 0
Feeling like everything is so hard? Coping with the stress of relationships and school and the daily repression of not wanting to communicate

My boyfriend and I are in a long-distance relationship, and with the education gap, my parents are especially against it, and for me the long-distance issue is really the hardest thing to resolve.

I have not been able to make any progress in my research, I can't get anything done, and I'm getting worried about whether or not I'll be able to graduate.

Every day I'm running away from all kinds of difficulties, looking for some relief from some illusory happiness, but as soon as I come back to reality, I feel especially depressed, I don't want to talk to anyone, I just want to be alone. I'm also afraid that avoidance will bring bad results, and I procrastinate a lot, procrastinating while being afraid and feeling incapable of fixing the problem.

Hi, there! I'm Qin Yu, a newbie counselor.

It seems like you've been struggling for a long time between your own or your family's expectations and reality.

The important things like relationships, research, and people don't seem to go well, and there are always all kinds of difficulties that you can't find a way out of, so you have to choose to avoid them and hide in that [illusory happiness].

1. Are illusory pleasures really so useless?

I remember when I first started studying psychology, there was a class called General Psychology, and it talked about mental functions, and one of them was [imagination].

[Imagination] as a uniquely human mental function helps us find hope. By imagining things that haven't happened yet, we allow ourselves to be fulfilled so that we can persevere through difficulties and maintain our confidence.

Feeling like everything is so hard? Coping with the stress of relationships and school and the daily repression of not wanting to communicate

You may not believe it, but I think your ability to avoid and access [illusory pleasure] is actually a bit like [imagining].

You blame yourself in the description for avoidance, for hating the way you escape into illusory pleasures, but this ability also requires thresholds - it requires us to be clear about our longings in order for them to happen and bring fulfillment.

And you seem to have quite a talent for that.

In the midst of heavy difficulties, you can create illusory joy to keep yourself from being overwhelmed and hold on to reality a little longer.

2. How do you bring illusory pleasures into reality?

However, it may not be enough to rely on imagined and imaginary pleasures; you want to branch out and make the [real world] as pleasurable as you imagine it to be.

  1. It's true that it's not easy to bring the fulfillment of the imaginary world to reality, so I'd like to invite you to try it: the next time you've escaped into [imaginary imaginations and pleasures], don't be so quick to beat yourself up that

    2. Instead, get a blank sheet of paper and jot down 3 things:

    3. What were you doing?

    4. What scenario do you visualize in this case?

How happy does this scene make you feel?

Find a calm moment and think about how to replace it.

What can you realistically do to bring about the same feeling?

3. The secret: stick to 10 substitutions and be gentle with yourself.

Usually, when the replacements accumulate to 10, you can slowly bring the joy of the fantasy world into reality.

But I will warn you that once you try, you may experience times that are harder than avoidance.

In these moments, remember that "violence against yourself is also violence," so don't blame yourself for whatever the outcome. Tell yourself, "It's normal that creating joy in reality requires more effort."

Blessings to you for finding true joy.
鄂ICP备2025162798号

相关推荐