This may sound a bit selfish, but let me explain. When I was a kid, my mom was particularly strict with me, meddling in everything. When I went to middle school, she suddenly decided to let go of me (not completely, of course), and left all academic matters to my dad, and it was as if the two of them had switched roles, with my dad taking a laissez-faire approach to me.
At home, mom always listens carefully to what dad says, but sometimes she doesn't seem to listen to a single word when I nag her for half a day.
I've mentioned this to my mom as well, and she says I'm always interrupting when she's thinking about things, but I always feel like she's the one who isn't listening to me properly.
Is it because you're used to being paid attention to and disciplined by your mom, and now it feels like you're being robbed of that attention.
Hello friend, are you wondering if you're really jealous of your dad?
From your description, I see two modes of homeschooling: one with strict control and one with free-range parenting. It's kind of like two extremes of parenting styles.
Mom's state of being in charge of everything tends to make the child feel constrained and lacking in autonomous choices, and the child's boundaries may be excessively crossed.
Dad's put-upon state may make the child feel unappreciated, unclear about behavioral boundaries, and even seek attention through some over-the-top actions.
When you see your mom listening carefully to your dad but ignoring your expression, it's natural to feel that your dad is getting more attention while you are being ignored.
In this regard, I think anyone can envy their dad and become jealous. You want your mom to see you more, pay attention to you, and be a special presence in her heart. There may also be self-doubt: don't I deserve attention?
Also, you mentioned having communicated with your mom and she said "you always talk when she's thinking".
My guess is that when children are young they often interject when their parents are busy, which is really an instinctive attempt to get attention when they realize they are being ignored.
As a child, you talk more because you feel left out, but it's true that mom may not listen when she's lost in her own thoughts.
This happens a lot with me and my kids too. Sometimes I get impatient and think my kids don't understand timing.
In fact, from both your and your mom's perspectives, there is nothing wrong with either, it's just that their respective states and needs are different, leading to a biased understanding.
For you, mom didn't respect you or listen to you carefully; for mom, you said too much at inappropriate times.
In a nutshell, it's that you need your mom's attention.
It has nothing to do with selfishness, it's a normal psychological need of a child.
In Positive Discipline, it is recommended that parents and children agree on an action, such as a gesture, which means "I love you, I notice you", or fix a parent-child-only time, so that your mom can be with you wholeheartedly without being interrupted. This will give you a clear sense of your importance.
The positive side of being jealous is reminding myself that I need companionship, attention and a listening ear. That's when we should actively address the problem.
I hope these suggestions are helpful.