I always want to have a good chat with my dad, but every time I don't know what to say, I'm inexplicably nervous and even a little scared. I was nervous and even a bit scared. I was very natural with other family members, but when it came to my dad, I was so embarrassed that I swallowed back my words. This awkwardness made our relationship more and more rigid, I really want to ease, but I do not know where to start. Is there something wrong with me?
Hello friend! I can feel your kinks when I see you share, and I'll give you a warm hug first.
It's actually quite common for you to find yourself having trouble communicating with your dad, so don't beat yourself up too much.
Think back to how your dad communicated with you when you were a kid.
It's possible that when you were growing up, Dad just rarely talked to you in a gentle way.
Part of this may have to do with Dad's own upbringing.
In his time, living conditions were more difficult and his parents were probably more concerned with basic needs such as food, clothing and warmth.
This corresponds to the first level of Maslow's hierarchy of needs theory - physiological needs.
Only when this level is met first can we move up to security needs, and love and belonging.
That said, Dad probably didn't experience much smooth parent-child communication as a child either.
If he grew up in that environment, he naturally doesn't know much about how to gently communicate with his children, which is more the influence of his family of origin than his intention.
There's a saying in psychology that we can't give what we don't have.
If you feel awkward talking to your dad and don't know how to start, try something else.
Communication doesn't have to be a face-to-face chat; the format can be flexible.
For example, if Dad knows how to use a cell phone, you can send a message via WeChat and write down what you want to say.
Remember, there are always more than three solutions to everything.
I believe that there are always more ways than there are difficulties, and that if you are willing to try, you can always find a breakthrough.
I really hope that you find a solution to the dilemma you are now facing soon.
That's all the advice I can think of at the moment.
I hope my sharing can inspire and help you in some way. I am the respondent learning well everyday.
In, the world and I love you. All the best to you!