I grew up in a tough family, and because of that, I didn't have many friends around me and grew up playing alone. Growing up, I met a boy who said he felt uncomfortable as soon as he saw me, yet hinted at having a crush on me while openly rejecting my kindness. To add to my heartache, while pretending to pursue me, he got together with another girl who was excellent in every way. Due to some special circumstances, he saw my family, my parents, and all the details of my life, and he even said things like "you don't deserve to live". I wanted to jump off a building to end it all, but no one came to stop me, my parents turned a blind eye, and he pretended not to know. I've loved him quietly for two years, but he's been with someone else, causing me to fall into depression and destroying my ideal college life and future plans. Recently, he outright told me to leave him alone and that he didn't like me. And one by one, the people I thought were my friends have left me, and now I don't know what to do with my phone every day, and I'm even more at a loss without it. I really want to ask, was I born to suffer all this pain? I'm almost desperate for life now, but I can't help but shed tears at the thought of silently leaving this world because I feel like I could be an existence that no one cares about until I die.
Hello, sir.
Growing up in a poor condition, parents may not give you enough attention, so you feel inferior, feel like "garbage" like no one cares, no one love, lack of existence, self-worth is very low, can not find the motivation and meaning of life. But the more low self-esteem and complaining, the more likely to let themselves live into that negative image, but let the people around you away from you.So, when you meet a guy, you may not be able to distinguish his real intentions, nor to judge whether he is worthy of, in his so-called "hints", eager to get a bit of warmth, fell into self-imagination and expectations. Then the reality is that he chose someone else, and you fell back into the "abyss" of despair. The whole thing seems like a play directed by yourself.
Isn't that right?I understand that you grew up with a low sense of self-worth and are prone to a "victim" mentality. But this kind of thinking will not help you change your life, it will only make you fall deeper and deeper into the hole.
You may blame everyone else for everything that happens to you - your parents, that boy, or outside injustices - but have you ever thought about how well you treat yourself? Have you taken responsibility for your own life? How much of these situations were within your control? Have you reflected on this?Choosing death may seem easy, but that is not the relief from pain. What will really relieve you is facing the pain head on and learning to take responsibility for yourself. I recommend you check out books like "When Life Falls" and "The Way of Silence", they may give you some inner strength and wisdom.
Girl, stop blaming everyone else for all your problems and focus back on yourself, life is what you make it. Think about what kind of life you really want to live. What are your goals? How should you go about achieving them? Try putting down your phone and stand up for yourself for once.The phrase often used in psychology: Honey, there's really no one else out there~~