Some time ago, through a friend's introduction, I met a girl, before the Qingming Festival. We met twice, chatting quite close, I invited her to dinner and a movie, she also returned the milk tea, feel quite natural. But recently asked her, she said this week the company is busy, next week, May Day holiday and go out to play, I guess it is difficult to ask out later. However, she will still take the initiative to send a message at night, but sometimes it takes a long time to reply, but not perfunctory "uh uh oh oh". Now that I'm working late, I can only talk a few times in the evening, and when she goes out to play, I think the reply will be even slower. I think this is quite tired, do not return her message, it seems impolite; directly said inappropriate, and afraid of hurting her self-esteem, feeling that she did not see me too much, said to be friends, she now seems to be ordinary friends. What should I say?
Hey, pal! The key to dealing with this situation is honesty and respect. What you're trying to convey is that you don't think the two of you are a good match, but you don't want the other person to feel offended or hurt.
First of all, from an emotional standpoint, you've seen each other a couple times and had some interactions. The other person probably has some good feelings or expectations for you, so you have to be careful how you say what you really think, so you don't give her a hard time. It's true that outright rejection isn't easy, but it's the mature and responsible thing to do.
It's important to pick the right time and manner. Face-to-face chat is the best, because the expression and tone of voice can convey your sincerity. If you can't meet in person, a phone call is also better than sending messages to avoid misunderstandings. Text messages or social software are easy to make people think too much, try not to use them.
You can start off gently by thanking her for spending time together, such as, "I'm glad we got to know each other, it was quite fun spending time together." This is polite and lightens the mood.
Next, use "I" to express your feelings without blaming the other person. For example, say, "After a few meetings, I feel that we may not be getting along in some areas." This emphasizes your personal feelings, not criticizing her.
State your thoughts plainly and simply, but in a softer tone. "I don't think it might be right for us to go in the direction of a relationship, but I respect you and I hope we both find the right person." This is both clear and seems thoughtful on your part.
Give some positive vibes like, "You're a great person and I'm sure you'll meet someone more suitable. Good luck with everything!" This can end the conversation on a friendlier note.
Specifically, you can say something like, "Hi, I'm glad we had a chance to meet and spend some time together. I really appreciate your kindness and humor, and the time together has been great. However, I've thought about it carefully and feel that we might not be a good match in some places. I feel like we might not be a good fit to take things further as lovers, but I have a lot of respect for you and I hope we both find someone who is truly right for us. You're a wonderful person and I'm sure you'll meet that right person. I wish you all the best for the future!"
Letting the other person know what is really going on is good for each other and can help everyone move on. Maintaining honesty and respect is at the core of dealing with any relationship issue.