Hello everyone, I'm 23 years old and I have something on my mind that I'd like to talk to you about. When my mom and dad call me particularly nasty words, such as calling me an asshole or son of a bitch, should I talk back or not?
Usually my parents take pretty good care of me in life, but when they fight, it's a different story.
Whenever I argue with my mom, she always comes out with something hurtful that makes it especially hard for me.
Honestly, I can't help it sometimes and say something bad back.
But lately I've noticed a strange phenomenon: my dad always pretends not to hear when my mom scolds me, but when I say she's wrong, he immediately jumps in and accuses me.
Today there was a particularly nasty fight, my mom scolded me again, I kicked over the flower pot in a fit of anger, and my dad ended up scolding me with even worse words.
I could never figure out why my dad ignored my mom's scolding but forbade me to contradict her.
He said outright, "A child should never scold a parent, and you have to hold your tongue and not talk back when a parent scolds or even hits a child."
I would like to ask you what I should do in this situation. Am I really wrong? Shouldn't I yell back? But every time, they are the ones who provoke me first. Just because they are the parents, do I have to suffer in silence?
I'm so upset that I'm asking for advice!
Hi friend, I can feel your aggravation when I read what you shared and would love to give you a warm hug.
In their parents' generation, who tended to take the dignity of their elders very seriously, the
If you say something back, they may think it's disrespectful, not to mention scolding you back, which will be seen as "ungrateful" and make them blame themselves for failing to educate.
Hurtful words are like the cold winds of winter, piercing and unforgettable.
You must have been sad and suffocated when your mom scolded you like that, but if you scolded back as well, not to mention elders, even good friends would have to digest it for a long time, not to mention that you're her heartbroken child!
Don't rush to vent your anger when you're angry.
We have been wronged easy to get angry, want to defend but said harsh words, but after finishing the emotions are not released, but more guilty. Why don't you try to calm down and tell your mom how you feel in a calm way, for example, "Mom, I know I'm wrong in some ways, I understand if you're angry, but please don't yell at me, I also have self-esteem, and harsh words will hurt me, I need space to vent." By communicating in this way, mom may slowly change her temper.
Remember, if mom doesn't yell at you again someday, remember to give her a big hug, she'll feel your kindness and joy ♥
I'm [Kona Heart Enjoyment], your parents love you and the world is with you, go for it!