When I was four years old, my parents took me to the city to work, and the land in my hometown was given to my eldest uncle's family to plant. When I was 18 years old, they divorced, and the divorce agreement didn't mention how the land and property would be divided, but only said that one's clothes would go to one's own person. To be honest, the family was so poor that they only had some dry land left. The reason for the divorce was that my father had someone else on the outside, and the family, which was already not rich, was completely broken up.
Then I went to college, and my dad paid for my tuition and living expenses, but his attitude towards me changed drastically. Every time he called, he would yell at me: 'From now on, it's just 1,000 dollars a month, not a penny more! When I heard this, my heart broke, and I felt that the support in my heart had collapsed all of a sudden.
So once I graduated, I never reached out to him for money again.
However, my mom had no income and asked my dad several times for the contract fee for the land. My dad always shrugged it off, saying that my uncle hadn't paid the money, and that he was a village bully and a relative of the village cadres, so we shouldn't get into trouble. But I didn't give up and tried to get in touch with the village cadres myself, and only then did I realize the truth - my dad was lying. How could he lie to me? With the facts in front of me, who else could I trust? I guessed that he wanted to save for his own retirement and didn't want to give the money to my mom, and I didn't believe that I would give him my retirement. The most basic trust between us is gone. My whole world has collapsed. How can I trust others in the future? He doesn't love me at all, even if I am his only daughter, he only cares about himself.
In my opinion, the best way to cope after being hurt by your family of origin is to hurry up and become independent - financially and spiritually. Focus more on your future and don't stay stuck in the pain and can't pull yourself out.
First of all, it's so normal that you would have these feelings. Mom and Dad are supposed to be the closest people to us, and their every move deeply affects us. It's only human to feel sad, disappointed, and even angry at being cheated on by your own dad.
However, that doesn't mean you have to be wary of the whole world. There are all kinds of people in life, some may be selfish and cold, but there are also a lot of warm-hearted and nice people. Friends, coworkers, significant others, and even strangers may help you out in a pinch. Wounds sustained at home may be able to heal slowly in the community. There is a lot of goodness waiting for you in the world, it's just blocked by dark clouds at the moment.
Trust doesn't collapse in a day, and it has to be rebuilt slowly. You can start with the small things around you, such as trusting those who have always been good to you, and gradually find a sense of security. In addition, your father's attitude change is not sudden, I feel that since the divorce, he has let go of this family, do not care about your feelings. The whole fatherhood thing is pretty complicated, like I didn't experience much fatherhood growing up, so I'm less likely to be trapped by my father's words and actions. But back to you, whether he loves you or not, you have the right to pursue your own happiness. Build your own world with your own hands and find someone who truly loves you. Remember, you absolutely deserve to be loved.
It's pretty amazing that you're facing these challenges head on. Next, give yourself some time to slow down and heal slowly. I hope you find peace and trust in your heart soon and live the way you want to live.
Cheer up!