When you encounter a difficult problem in interpersonal relationships or at work, are you often tossing and turning and unable to sleep? Obviously just a small matter, but always involuntarily think of the consequences of particularly serious, can not control the panic. As soon as you close your eyes, you start to regret the words you said and the decisions you made during the day, and even recall those embarrassing mistakes in the past over and over again. Even if you are so sleepy that you can't open your eyes, you will suddenly wake up not long after you fall asleep, and this state of mind often can't be relieved until the matter is completely over.
It's a really torturous experience, and you can't always turn to your friends to pour out your misery. Sometimes I can't wait to disappear in an instant, or I wish the sky would never light up so I don't have to face the consequences. How do I adjust to this emotion? I've tried telling myself that the consequences aren't that bad, but it doesn't work, and I can't help but ask my friends, "It's really not that bad, is it?" many times. The result is both upsetting to my friends and half-hearted to myself. In the end, I could only hold back from asking, but it was even harder to keep it in.
You can only temporarily distract yourself by swiping your phone and watching videos, but as soon as you stop, that anxiety comes back.
Hi friend, it's really heartbreaking to see you so anxious that you're losing sleep over small things, first of all, a warm hug to you 🌹
Every time you encounter interpersonal or work-related problems, you are prone to insomnia, and even magnify the small things infinitely, can not help but panic. Close your eyes and keep thinking back to the daytime mistakes, or dwell on the mistakes made in the past - this state in psychology is called "regurgitated thinking".
Let's talk about how to deal with regurgitation from several angles:
☀️ Why do we dwell on it over and over again?
☀️ How can I alleviate the distress caused by rumination?
❓ Why does regurgitation come to you?
🌸 Regurgitation is essentially an over-control of past events. A good reflective person will summarize positive and negative experiences in a balanced way, whereas a habitual regurgitator expends all his energy on self-blame and shame.
Are you asking too much of yourself?
❓ How can I alleviate rumination symptoms?
🌸 Learn to use the "control dichotomy". The philosopher Niebuhr famously prayed: Give me the peace to accept the unchangeable; give me the courage to change the changeable; and give me the wisdom to know the difference.
The Stoic dichotomy of control is exactly that: there are things in life that we can influence, and there are things that are a foregone conclusion. By focusing on the things we can change, we don't have time for the trivial things we can't change.
The dichotomy of control is a powerful tool for relieving anxiety. Once you accept the reality that "some things just can't be done over", you stop fantasizing about being in perfect control of everything, and you slowly develop a sense of normalcy.
Don't force yourself to forget. It's like the White Bear Experiment in psychology - the more you tell yourself "don't think about the white bear," the clearer the image of the white bear becomes in your head. Similarly, the more you try to suppress those anxious thoughts, the more they haunt you.
The best attitude toward rumination is "don't resist, don't dwell on it". Acknowledge its existence, but don't follow it. ☀️ When the thought pops up, move on to what's in front of you: read a book, catch up on a show, exercise. ...... Don't give your attention to your emotions. ☀️
🌸 Try writing to heal. Writing it down is a great way to channel your emotions. When rumination strikes, take out a pen and paper and write out all the concerns and questions in your mind. It's like having two little people living in your heart: one is responsible for pouring out your worries, the other is responsible for comforting and enlightening; and if the problem can be solved, discussing the solution together.
Even if some puzzles are truly unsolvable, the writing process itself can go a long way toward releasing anxiety.
I wish you more ease and comfort every day!