I'm 21 years old and still in college. I've actually noticed that I've been in a bit of a weird mood since I was 15 or 16, and that state has dragged on until now.
Whenever my friend's attitude is a little bit cold, my heart will be in a state of turmoil, although my brain understands that maybe she is just busy, but I just can't help but think: Is it because I have pissed her off somewhere?
Because of this blind guess, I would feel ostracized and thus get fired up.
But you want to bring the relationship back, so you can't help but try to please the other person.
Even if my friend said "you are my important friend" in action or even directly to me, I still muttered over and over again during the time we spent together: will she turn around and forget about me?
Because of this mentality, although my friends say they have fun with me, I myself always suffer, feel miserable, feel not understood and not valued, and as a result, I get angry with them instead, don't want to treat them as friends, and even want to simply cut off all contact.
May I ask how I can be more natural and comfortable in my interactions?
Your situation actually begins in adolescence, when you may feel something is not right, and this sense of unease makes you waver internally, and may even make your personality a bit critical, which is what we often call 'doubt' playing tricks on you.
The emotion of doubt is really quite scary, it makes you feel extremely insecure in your constant suspicion, and even if someone else's change in attitude may not be your fault, you still feel lacking and foxed.
● Always have the uncontrollable suspicion that your friends are cold to you
¡Ó Always guessing that people mean you harm ¡Ó
●You're 21 and in college, but this has been going on since before
㊙︎㊙︎㊙︎㊙︎㊙︎ suspicion
㊙︎㊙︎㊙︎㊙︎㊙︎ malice
So it's easy to feel a great deal of unease in this situation, with your inner emotions jumping around and affecting your studies and life in the moment.
⚛️⚛️⚛️⚛️ Trust is also a key component in interpersonal interactions
㊯㊯㊯㊯㊯ you can give yourself a clearer understanding of trust
㊯㊯㊯㊯㊯ Gaining trust is putting a safeguard on both sides of the equation
We all need to understand how important trust is, and both parties need to think about what the situation could mean, because everyone has their own ideas, you may have your mind on something, and someone else may really be busy with something else.
There is no need to speculate too much about what others do, you just have to do the part you can control, you won't be ostracized for no reason, there are so many possibilities waiting for you in the future.
Other people also have their own things to do, you can also think more about what kind of future you desire, everyone actually has a small, if everyone can get along happily, how good it would be, it is also worth your deep thought.
All of your various insecurities deserve to be dealt with properly, and as someone who loves to delve into psychology, I recommend you read some practical psychology books like Highly Communicative, Take Control of Your Conversations, and Introverted Highly Sensitive People, which will help you sort out those complex emotions.
You can really face your own uneasiness, sort out those tight inner thoughts, do some interpersonal communication or psychological testing, want to be natural, you have to heal the inner trauma, you will find that freedom is actually not far away from you.
ZQ 🐬