I have been keeping friends with a married man.
We've been together as friends for years, but now I'm starting to reflect that maybe we shouldn't continue like this. Because of the pressure I feel from the gossip of people around me, I'm getting more and more uncomfortable in my own mind, and I even have the illusion that it's as if I've become the 'third party' in someone else's marriage. Moreover, our contact was always dominated by him - he would only approach me when it was convenient for him, and when I took the initiative to contact him, it was always out of place.
Even though he often complained about his wife's lack of care for the family, I never had any thoughts of staying with him.
I didn't have any male or female feelings for him, I just got used to talking to him and confiding in him when I had something to do.
Hello everyone, I'm strawberry.
✨ I have struggled for a long time about staying friends with a married man. We've known each other for years, but now I'm starting to question the necessity of the relationship. The outside world is stressing me out, and the feeling of loss inside is growing to the point where I'm starting to question my place in the world. Our interaction pattern was unbalanced - it was always him who initiated contact with me, while I had a hard time finding the right time to approach him. Although he often mentioned the dissatisfaction in the marriage, I was clear that I had no ulterior motives and was just enjoying the time to chat with him.
☀️ In fact, it is perfectly possible for a pure friendship to exist between a man and a woman, but the key is to maintain appropriate boundaries. If you ignore the boundaries because you are on good terms, it is easy for the relationship to become tainted.
🌸 For example, avoid dating alone, even with good friends. It's best to bring your respective partners with you so that the other significant other feels at ease and not provoked.
🌸 Also, don't confide in each other about your respective partners. When you confide in a friend of the opposite sex about a personal matter, while it is done out of trust, in the eyes of onlookers, especially your spouse, it can be misinterpreted as running away from the problem rather than seeking a solution.
☀️ Judging from the other person's behavior, he probably doesn't see the relationship as an ordinary friendship. A true friendship should be equal and not one-sidedly convenient.
☀️ Why do you feel lost? Maybe it's because you're used to relying on him, confiding in and understanding each other, creating an understanding. When the feeling of loss surfaces, it is actually because you subconsciously expect more from the relationship.