I didn't know any better in middle school.
I wasted three years of my life, and as a result, I didn't get into the high school I wanted to go to, and then my family paid for me to go to a private school. At first, I was okay, but I was moved to the back of the class because I was a talker, and then I couldn't find the feeling of learning. I couldn't stand the quiet classroom atmosphere where no one talked, but I didn't know how to find topics to talk about with my classmates. I also tried to study by myself, but I can't sit still, I can't learn, and sometimes my mood is very depressing, but I'm still able to think about it. Anyway, I'm very confused and it's hard for me to feel that I can't make use of my energy, as if I'm being pressed by something. Sometimes I force myself to be lively, but I feel very fake and I can't find the state. The sense of existence is getting lower and lower, and I always love to think nonsense, so it's hard to get rid of it. I don't have any good friends, and sometimes I think I'm good, but I'm not. All in all, it is all kinds of uncomfortable, uncomfortable, not able to realize their own talents, become less brave, a little thing can be half a day to think. I'm not very good at talking, I don't feel good, and I'm holding back.
You may have your own expectations for learning, but the gap between the real state and the ideal is so big that you can't find a good way to get rid of this trouble for the time being.
Think about what your ideal learning situation looks like.
How would you organize your studies and life in that state?
If that ideal self were to face the person you are now, what words of encouragement would he say to you?
These are questions to mull over. You can also talk to a trusted friend about your worries, and maybe they can give some practical advice.
For studying, we recommend that you try the "Tomato Work Method" to plan your time. Divide your study tasks into small pieces and focus on completing them without worrying too much about efficiency. Use every 25 minutes as a tomato clock, and take a 3 to 5 minute break when you are done. After 4 to 5 consecutive tomato clocks, take longer breaks. During the break, give yourself a small reward. If you are depressed, you can also adjust your mindset by exercising for 30 minutes or more.
If these methods have little effect, consider seeking help from a trusted teacher or school psychologist.